Reimagining Imposter Syndrome
/The women that I coach often report that they suffer from “Imposter Syndrome.” I too have felt like an imposter at times. But lately, I’ve had to re-evaluate my relationship to this term.
In my 20s, I entered a top business school. I didn’t question whether I was smart enough to be there. Having graduated from a competitive college, I didn’t doubt my ability to get good grades or graduate with honors. But I still felt like a fraud because I wondered if I had the qualities to become the exceptional leader that top business schools expected of its students.
At business school, I found myself in the minority - an Asian woman in a class made up of 70% men. My boyfriend at the time was a British bloke who had mastered the art of gab at his public (our private) elite boarding school. Whenever he spoke, people listened. I could barely summon the courage to speak out, even when I had something insightful to say or had questions about the material. I felt like fish out of water, a complete imposter.
My classmates seemed confident. They raised their hands and asked questions, no matter how mundane or inane. I preferred to listen and learn rather than actively take part in class. But, in graduate school, class participation made up a significant portion of your grade, so learning how to speak up was an imperative if I wanted to succeed at school.
At the start of a new semester, my entrepreneurship teacher asked students who had a hard time speaking up in class to come see him. I visited the teacher during office hours and fessed up to my fear of speaking up in class. The the next class, he called on me and asked me a question about our lesson. He called on me many more times in subsequent classes. Though it felt distressing every time, he forced me to speak up in class. And the more I did, the less frightening it became. That teacher gave me my first lesson in dealing with my imposter thoughts - to force myself to do uncomfortable things until those difficult feelings quieted.
What is imposter syndrome? It is a label that people give to themselves when they feel like a fraud, despite evidence to the contrary. Individuals may attribute their achievements to external factors rather than their inherent capabilities, or they might undervalue their accomplishments.
Pauline R. Clance and Dr. Suzanne A. Imes coined the term “Imposter Phenomenon” in 1978. They studied high achieving professional women who felt they didn’t measure up in some way. These women didn’t view themselves as competent as others perceived them. They attributed their success to external factors like luck, rather than their hard work or abilities. In the last 40 years, the phenomena has morphed into a syndrome, and now high-achieving professional women are not the only ones suffering from the affliction. It can affect people of any gender and of all types.
I have several issues with the term Imposter Syndrome.
Feelings are normal
Doubting our abilities or feeling out of place are normal. When faced with new situations and challenges, it is normal to feel nervous, fearful or cautious. When my daughter entered middle school, she went from having one teacher and a tight group of friends in elementary school to having seven new teachers and meeting many strangers. She was worried about being able to keep up with the pace of school and concerned about making new friends. I told her what I should have told myself when I went to business school – “give it time and you will find your footing.” We may feel discomfort because we lack confidence in our abilities or find ourselves in a situation in which we are not familiar. These are normal feelings that we can sit with and feel fully, without labeling them as negative.
Feelings are not ‘a syndrome’
Dictionary.com defines syndrome as a group of symptoms that together are characteristic of a specific disorder, disease, or the like. Merriam-webster defines it as a group of signs and symptoms that occur together and characterize a particular abnormality or condition. Imposter syndrome implies difficult emotions are an affliction and that these feelings are insurmountable. Most of these ‘imposter’ feelings, like doubt or incompetence, fade as we feel more comfortable in our roles or when we learn how to work within a new system. We do not have to pathologize our feelings.
The systems we enter may not feel familiar
We need to consider our context before labeling ourselves an imposter. Women, like those found in the original study of imposter phenomenon, I am guessing, found themselves in largely male-dominated work environments. People of color who label themselves as imposters may find themselves in a community that is predominantly White. Other marginalized groups, facing issues of racism, ableism, homophobia, and agism may view themselves as outsiders in certain circles. Being a creative person in a highly analytical environment can also make you feel like a fraud. Being part of a non-majority group can cause uncomfortable feelings. The context we find ourselves in does not mean we are any less capable or cannot thrive. These feelings usually fade when we attain success and cultivate relationships in our organizations.
You may need to advocate for yourself, but you are not an imposter
There may be barriers you need to overcome or there may be issues that others may need to address to make space for diversity in a system. But these are not insurmountable aspects of a job, nor are they reasons to feel like an imposter. Many companies want their employees to feel empowered and happy, and many leaders want to create inclusive cultures. If you face continued resistance when you advocate for inclusivity for yourself and others, you may find yourself out of alignment of your company’s goals. Consider if the culture is enabling you to thrive. If it is not, it might be time to look elsewhere for a company that values inclusivity and belonging.
Rather than give yourself the ‘imposter syndrome’ label, I implore you to consider a different approach. Think about tending and befriending the different parts of you that may make you feel like an imposter. Here are some things to consider:
Practice little brave acts – Though public speaking terrified me, I knew that it was a skill I needed to improve if I wanted to be successful in my career. In business school, I signed up for club leadership roles and took a public speaking class. As I grew in my career, I signed up for Toastmasters and I took acting and improv classes. I also started teaching classes and guest lecturing. The more I put myself in these initially distressful situations, the more comfortable I felt being in front of a group. The more you cultivate brave action, the less you’ll feel like an imposter.
List your accomplishments – I once coached a woman who thought that she was not a policy expert, even though she had been in her chosen field for over ten years. As an assignment, I encouraged her to count the number of hours that she learned, coached, or consulted on that policy topic. After this exercise, she realized she was not the fraud she thought she was. In fact, she was a bonafide expert in it.
Think about what success means to you – Success in American culture has been a push or a striving for more. A bigger title, a bigger salary, a bigger team. A larger home, a fancy car, a fantastic vacation. External measures like material ones do not make for a happier life. Your definition of success will come from your values. What do you want to measure yourself against – your title or your impact? When you align to your values, you will not have to measure yourself to anyone else. Success will be based on your own standards.
Embrace your successes – Magical fairy dust does not make you a success. Sustainable success comes from diligence and hard work. If you are a woman or a person of color, the barriers to achieving success are even higher. You have found success despite these barriers. See past the unwritten rules of the biased, performance-based systems that our culture has forced upon us. Recognize that you are capable and worthy - FULL STOP.
Pause for self-praise - When you do a good job on a project, celebrate your accomplishment. Many of my clients tell me that rarely praise themselves for job well done after a challenging project. Instead, they think about how they could have done the project better, or they catapult themselves into the next thing. My suggestion to pause and celebrate their successes is often met with resistance. When this suggestion is fully embraced, I’ve seen my clients’ confidence grow. When you acknowledge your successes, you learn the art of encouraging self-talk, which helps to quiet any imposter thoughts.
Cultivate a culture of belonging - If you have the clout within an organization and have the energy to tackle change, then it’s time to step up to transform the system you are in. In your organization, invest in your relationships and cultivate a feeling of belonging to counteract that ‘outsider’ feeling. Become the leader of a movement within your company that values people’s contributions and instills a feeling of belonging.
What if, instead of calling yourself an imposter, you leaned into the discomfort ? What if you showed up to work ready for any challenge, despite feeling uncomfortable? Instead of pushing the feelings of doubt and insecurity away, name the feeling and sit with it. Then give yourself the encouragement to transform the feeling. Lovingly tell yourself: “I am capable,” “I earned my position here,” “I can do hard things,” and “I am worthy.”
When you practice some of the tips I’ve outlined above and train yourself by doing little acts of bravery, you will begin to experience the true you shining through. You’ve got this!