Post Election Self-Care

I held two emotions going into the election – anxiety and hope. I went to my friend’s house with my 12-year-old daughter to watch the election results. We followed as each state reported the vote count, holding our breath as the swing state results were reported. My friend and I both had the NY Times forecast open on our phones. The needle was slightly in favor of Trump.

The electoral college favored Trump at the beginning of the night, as expected. But as the swing states started to report their counts, the needle started to move to the right, in favor of Trump. As the needle moved, our anxiety increased. When the needle reached 90%, my friend and I decided that we needed to turn off the television. We felt deep sadness, especially our twelve-year-old girls who, like us, were hoping for a historic win. My friend and I had muddled through election night eight years ago, so we were somewhat mentally prepared.

Instead of watching the results, we played a game of Yahtzee. While we checked in with the results from time to time, we stayed present with our kids as we played the game. We had a good time rolling dice and filling in the game card in hopes of a full house, a straight and the coveted Yahtzee. This score card would be inconsequential to America, but it felt so much better than watching the election results and thinking about the next four years. 

Here are some things that I have found helpful in dealing with the election results:

Self-compassion practice:

When I got into bed on election night, I opened up the Calm App and listened to a talk on caring for yourself when navigating through world events by Jay Shetty. In this talk, he says: “We need to pause. We need to direct some of our attention and our empathy inward.” Self-compassion turns compassion internally. Dr. Kristin Neff, an expert in the topic, says, “Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available, radically improving our mental and physical wellbeing.” Check in with your emotions and be aware of them without judgement. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. 

Gather with your community:

When you are feeling deep emotions and need support, connect with others. Playing Yatzhee with my friend and our kids felt so nourishing during the election storm. The morning after the election, I met with some gal pals to process the election results and watch Kamala’s speech together. I’ve been checking in with friends and family by phone and via text and reaching out to clients by e-mail. Connect with others who can provide a safe container to feel and express your emotions.

Set Boundaries:

When I returned home after watching the results of the election, I noticed several e-mails from the New York Times. I deleted them without looking at them and unsubscribed from the political alerts. The morning after the election, one person in my family group chat started posting hurtful political rhethoric. I politely, but firmly asked people to refrain from discussing politics on the chat, then reiterated that I loved them no matter their political affiliation. You get to decide when, how, and with whom you want to discuss the election results, if at all.

Loving Kindness Meditation:

Here is meditation that will help center you. Sit down in a comfortable position. Take a few deep breaths and ground yourself. Allow yourself to think about a person that you love. Notice the sensations in your body. Wish them love and kindness. Then send out love and kindness to all the people that will be affected by this new administration. Allow yourself to expand in this feeling. There are different ways to practice loving kindness meditation. If you need some instruction, listen to this 10-minute meditation by Sharon Salzberg or this 6-minute meditation by Tita Angangco, produced in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement in 2021.

Breathe, then push:

Activist Valerie Kaur sent a message to her e-mail list, reminding us of the watch night address she gave 8 years ago. She recommended that we listen to the wisdom of a midwife: Breathe and Push. Today we breathe. Tomorrow we push. We push for the important work that needs to be done in the wake of this election. Fear and alienation are not the values we should bring into our homes, our companies or our nation. Think about what you can do to bring more love and compassion into your home, workplace and community.

Be well and be present.